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bloodsfire
Ghost
 
USA
162 Posts |
 Posted - 11 June 2004 : 05:25:56 AM
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I thought it might be interesting to set up a poll dealing with Suicide. How many of us have considred, attempted, witnessed, etc... the taking of our own lives, or losing someone close to thier own self destruction.
Touchy subject, true. I am currently dealing with a one year anniversary of a loved ones suicide.
Any thoughts?
"Say hello, to everything you've left behind....it's even more a part of your life now that you can't touch it."
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Iceheart
Undertaker / Pink Star Lover
 
Australia
1157 Posts |
Posted - 11 June 2004 : 09:28:03 AM
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Touchy indeed.
Self destruction.........those words add power to term Suicide, and bring it back to exactly what it is, tho sometimes its for the better, sometimes its nothing more than carelessness and uncaring.
Would you care to share your experience, if you feel strong enough, to kick start this topic?
I tried very seriously a few years back. I think thats why I'm so against anybody who wants to do it as a way out. Thankfully I didn't succeed, tho it took many hours of counceling to able to admit that!
Who was your loved one bloodsfire?
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Heaven bent to take my hand, and lead me thru the fire.
Be the long awaited answer, to a long and painful fight.
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bloodsfire
Ghost
USA
162 Posts |
Posted - 11 June 2004 : 4:25:39 PM
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Family to me goes far beyond the realm of blood bonds. My brother, my best friend, my roomate, and eventually my significant other was found by my 2 other best friends on a dirt road exactly yesterday a year ago. Shotgun, knive, vallium, demerol, etc....scattered about the vehicle. Liver done for. Kidneys gone. Rushed to the ER, spent 11 days in a coma, before his mother had to remove him from life support. He was willful, and hard headed. He was weary of life and all it's lies. He felt alone, alone, alone. 6 months later, I tried to follow him. Seems my tolerance was greater than I anticipated, I woke up cursing the fact that I still breathed. My heart is broken, empty, scar-tissue. I relive now a year later all of the days when I did'nt know he would really be gone. My fatal hopefullness....
Oh damn. I have not rested well, appetite gone, lust for life lost in hours of staring at the walls.
Surely this subject touches many.......
"Say hello, to everything you've left behind....it's even more a part of your life now that you can't touch it." |
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Mazeppa
Zombie
 
USA
897 Posts |
Posted - 16 June 2004 : 11:54:29 AM
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I would re-quire more tyme than thee wuls bear, so Ui shall kee silent.
Much Love,
braided R
mazeppa |
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EzlyAmused
Corpse
USA
9 Posts |
Posted - 30 August 2004 : 1:45:16 PM
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I watched a man commit suicide. I was stationed in Alaska, and on a March morning, I went to McDonalds to eat. As I arrived, I watched a man, naked from head to toe, walk thru the parking lot and up to the three flag poles each McDonalds has. He climbed up the center pole and started to talk to himself. Police arrived, looked at him, attempting to decided what to do. He suddenly pulled his legs up towards the top and pushed himself off. I can still hear the sound of his head striking the pavement. Long story short, he died and since he was naked, they put the article in the paper to ID him. No one ever came forward and he was buried as John Doe. The only people at the funeral were two detectives, a nun and I believe a priest. True story. I remember while in the parking lot, I watched a mother actual pointed out this naked man on a pole to her child. About 3 seconds before he jumped. I bet that's something that poor little girl will never get out of her head. I work for a policed dept now and I can still see his face and hear his head striking the cement.
It never seems to end |
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Mazeppa
Zombie
USA
897 Posts |
Posted - 31 August 2004 : 1:08:09 PM
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My sympathies, understood. It does go around in the mind, sometimes, but I tend to think of it, as a learning force, something to ,make us strive to do better. The riccochets only continue until the force propelling them desists.
Regards,
mazeppa
From Earth to Sea,
Clouds carry me.
From Sea to Earth,
I turn at birth. |
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UnknownLoser
Poltergeist
 
USA
306 Posts |
Posted - 07 September 2004 : 05:11:27 AM
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I have cut, slashed and even scraped words on myself. And I've attempted suicide about four times.
Why? Because I have depression which makes me think about how much my life sucks, and because my life does suck.
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notforreal
Lost Soul
Canada
45 Posts |
Posted - 07 September 2004 : 07:50:59 AM
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| life is what you make it. it's either great or bad it's up to you [ |
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Iceheart
Undertaker / Pink Star Lover
Australia
1157 Posts |
Posted - 07 September 2004 : 10:00:10 AM
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If you have been diagnosed with depression, why are you still letting it eat at you UL?
Shit can get really tough when you're 14 , but trust me it gets tougher as you get older! You should try and focus your depression at how much life sucks, on building inner strength so shit doesn't get you down as much. If you think it sucks now, wait 5 years til you're outta school and living, lol. If you let your depression eat at you, life will be so unnecessarily hard and you wont see all the fun stuff 
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Heaven bent to take my hand, and lead me thru the fire.
Be the long awaited answer, to a long and painful fight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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UnknownLoser
Poltergeist
USA
306 Posts |
Posted - 29 September 2004 : 03:01:55 AM
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It's all my parent's fault. Two more years and I'm outta here..Stupid parents. >.>
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bloodsfire
Ghost
USA
162 Posts |
Posted - 29 September 2004 : 3:06:05 PM
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Although I shall never profess to live a life full of sunshine and rainbows, and I am not at all sure that the sun will come out tomorrow, or that all good things come to those who wait, blah, blah, blah....I can speak from experience and say that although the chaos factor runs like a complex web of blue veins beneath the pale surface of our flesh, we do have control over our own lives. Don't get me wrong. Bad things happen to good people, and life is sure as hell not fair. There are things that we will never understand, even if we survived every other being on this planet...sometimes there are no awnsers at all, and spending your entire life asking 'Why Me??' will probably get you nowhere at all. It does not take long to realize that what they taught us in school is true. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. The smallest gesture, the most casual of comments, often have more power than we credit them with. Yep. Life fuckin sucks. It's true. No sense in sugar coating it. But there is never a dull moment to be had. Really. I double-dare you to say out loud, right now, "Things can't possibly get any worse!" Ha Wait and see what happens. The only way to survive is to learn to sustain yourself on those rare, amazing moments, fleeting as they are, when tears well up in your eyes, and you know deep inside that you have just witnessed or been a part of something pure, something beautiful. The misery of the minutes which tick on and on, are almost worth it, for just those brief flashes of whatever it is that touches your heart and reminds you that eternity awaits.
BTW, nothing is all anybody elses fault. You are exactly who you choose to be, even if you must live inside of your head, as long as you live, well, then I think that is the point. That, and the fact that the 'powers that be' have the sickest sense of humor. The more we yearn for death, for peace, for oblivion....the more we find ourselves bound all up in the chains of responsibility.
But what do I know? I can't even seem to die correctly....
Built in Switches
Like wind-up Dolls
Bound up in Stitches
Burning like Witches
Night Falls |
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deadbear16
Corpse
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - 18 December 2004 : 06:51:21 AM
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| well i konow how it feels cause i am dealing wit a friend of mines attempt to kill himself but instead he is lying in hospital bed and he is doing way better than what he was before .............. on a lighter note i have thought about it but i dont think i can leave the people who actually care about me behind .........AND NO IM NOT TALKIN ABOUT YOU DAD I HATE YOU FUCKIN ASS |
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bloodsfire
Ghost
USA
162 Posts |
Posted - 13 February 2005 : 8:34:35 PM
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The forms and rituals of Suicide vary widely. Some plan for weeks, or months. Some just snap, and the deed is done before warning signs are recognized. If you are considering suicide, then it stands to reason that suicide is a fantasy like so many others. "To sleep, perchance to dream...". The tricky part is making the distinction between fantasy and reality. It's hard to tell when the threat is real and should be taken seriously. Everyone has his time - those who want most to die, usually live to be 205 yrs old. A depressive or morbid attitude may preface the crime. But the mysterious X factor remains a mystery. No way to tell who pulls the trigger next. No way to explain it. Pray you live throught it.
666
And as the walls come down, and As I look in your eyes, My fear begins to fade, Recalling all of the times...
I have died and will die.
It's all right.
I don't mind.
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Haematomania
Ghost
USA
211 Posts |
Posted - 09 May 2005 : 03:18:14 AM
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after all of the shit I have honestly been through,some of its the normal shit and some of it is unbeleiveble shit...I never wanted to honestly die and never tried to do it.But however,i did hurt myself quite often to "feel" something,but I never told anyone of my problems bothering me and never let them knew I was hurting myself.I made "masks",different personalities to match everyone else's so they had no idea.
Viewed from the Moon, Earth hangs delicatley in the sky on an oasis of life in the black emptyness of space.Nothing could be more beautiful or more lonely. |
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werewolf_of_london
Corpse
United Kingdom
10 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2005 : 06:15:35 AM
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i lost two friends to suicide .. its a very emotive subject.the rule is that those who do commit suicide are considered mentally ill but a lot of suicides are planned in sober detail . and for some its the only time theyll ever be in control through taking that most decisive of actions even when it leads to death . and in thier way of thinking at least that will lead to a change
"the beast in man needs to be exercised! not exorcised (a/lavay) |
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Haematomania
Ghost
USA
211 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2005 : 08:33:40 AM
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I have a best girl friend of mine who when I was 6 months pregnat, the 4th. of july called me up screaming in unreasonable subjects on it.She told me she had taken the entire bottle of her mothers heart medication and some other pills as well.My first train of thought(in which I took quick/immediate action)was to run the 4 blocks to her house.I goten there,bear feet and 6 months pregnat and started to drag her by the hair into her bathroom in whcih I stabbed a sharpe ended comb in the back of her throat making her vomit.When she stopped vomiting I then proceeded to kick her in the ass while she was bent over the toliet,grabbing her hair/pulling her head back and doing the comb gesture again till she vomited again.After around 20 minutes of that my cousin(her boyfriend)came and I told him to call 911.They took her to the hospital and pumped her stomace some more(lmao).
Meaning to this story is she is VERY grateful for me doing that,the paramedics told us that if I hadnt of done that(maybe not in the same way)she would if died from the heart medication.
My satisfaction for doing the violent thing to a desperate,despressed lady friend of mine is suicide is a selfess action,to take your life outta everyone elses life is just selfish and vain so I decided that since I was pregant and NOT needing the stress of it happening again to knock the shit outta her while knocking some new shit into her...and it worked perfectly,she has never thought about trying to kill herself again-big smile-.
Viewed from the Moon, Earth hangs delicatley in the sky on an oasis of life in the black emptyness of space.Nothing could be more beautiful or more lonely. |
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Suicide Poll
