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shy
Crypt Keeper
 
Australia
1833 Posts |
 Posted - 04 May 2004 : 10:02:38 PM
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I was a 16-year-old girl visiting my very old-school grandparents while on summer break. I had also recently discovered the joys of masturbation. For some reason, I decided to see if I could fit my entire hand into my vagina. Well, I managed to fit it, but I couldn't get it back out. I had to call my grandmother for help. She couldn't get it out either. I wound up wrapped in a blanket, sitting in the emergency room. The nice doctor managed to lube me up and stretch me enough to finally get it out.
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Mazeppa
Zombie
 
USA
639 Posts |
Posted - 05 May 2004 : 08:02:54 AM
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And I used to think Canada was only known for really crummy beer! Now I see they also produce brilliant women......who are also very handy. Dandy! I am packin' my bags for a visit....Further SOUTH!
mazeppa |
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Iceheart
Undertaker / Pink Star Lover
Australia
836 Posts |
Posted - 05 May 2004 : 11:39:13 AM
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Man, thats giving your pussy a real work out...my hand from the edge to the first knuckle of my thumb, palm side up is 9.5cm across *cringe*
When I keep my fingers stretched out but bring my thumb into the middle of my palm, the widest part of my hand then is about 7cm.
Ouch.
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Oh be still my beating heart......ok, not THAT still!
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Mazeppa
Zombie
USA
639 Posts |
Posted - 07 May 2004 : 09:22:18 AM
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WOW! That goes way beyond the standard "dimensions" one gets off the "Impersonals" columns. You sound like a good fit........I am going to ask Shy to mail you to me now...........
mazeppa |
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Iceheart
Undertaker / Pink Star Lover
Australia
836 Posts |
Posted - 07 May 2004 : 09:49:57 AM
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Great, I'll duct tape my hands together in preparation...........
A klenex tissue box makes a very good hat.
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Oh be still my beating heart......ok, not THAT still!
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Mazeppa
Zombie
USA
639 Posts |
Posted - 09 May 2004 : 05:33:41 AM
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This is good, I LIKE funny hats. The duct tape is optional.
mazeppa |
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killingmeslowly
Lost Soul
 
Canada
45 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2004 : 07:00:35 AM
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the wife and i went to a sex shop a couple of years back, i was looking for a couple of toys etc.
i asked the wife to pick a vibrator as i thought it could fun having a smallish one for use before the 'main event'. she only picked the biggest fucking thing i've ever seen - you could play baseball with it...
PS - Canadian beer is shit but far greater than the bland US wank. |
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Mazeppa
Zombie
USA
639 Posts |
Posted - 10 May 2004 : 11:23:11 AM
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Ya, Molson Ice is pretty good......what do you do with the bottles?
*Beer is never purchased, merely leased*
mazeppa |
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Iceheart
Undertaker / Pink Star Lover
Australia
836 Posts |
Posted - 27 May 2004 : 11:06:34 AM
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Speaking of sex toys, I watching the Playboy Bunny channel on cable last weekend and they had this doco on these new glass sex toys. They're all handblow ('scuse the pun  ) and one off designs and they made all these diff ones up and got this group of people to test them out. They set these couples up on this massive cruiser to just cruise round som eisland, full 5 star ac-cum-odation, meals etc, all by emselves for 2 nights with all thse fukn dildo and dildo/anal probe combinations and they just had sex all weekend. They tested these glass bits and then rated themn and shit, but what a sweet job ay! Grab the partner and hope on board the luxury cruiser and sail round getting paid to test sex toys all weekend.
FUCK YEAH!
Thats way off topic I know, apologies....just thort it was a cool job and if anyone knows how ones goes about applying for something like this, drop us line
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Darla.
I hate your stinking guts.
You make me vomit.
You're scuuuumm between my toes.
Love Alfalfa.
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killingmeslowly
Lost Soul
Canada
45 Posts |
Posted - 27 May 2004 : 12:40:21 PM
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yeah, i've seen that programme before...twice in fact (!)
is that the same episode that has those life-like sex dolls on it, or is that just wishful thinking..? |
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angel
Ghost
USA
66 Posts |
Posted - 27 May 2004 : 2:46:52 PM
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what a girl can do with imagination and a passionate nature except doing it better with a man who has imagination, and good equipment
seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul and I am yours forever |
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Mazeppa
Zombie
USA
639 Posts |
Posted - 31 May 2004 : 11:25:36 AM
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We simply MUST attend church more often, my Angel......
mazeppa |
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angel
Ghost
USA
66 Posts |
Posted - 31 May 2004 : 8:01:53 PM
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Yes Robert I have been told that my depraved soul needs saving.Are you up to the task
seduce my mind and you can have my body, find my soul and I am yours forever |
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Contributed Story : Handy-Work In Canada
