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 my life as a Total Air War pilot...

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T O P I C    R E V I E W
killingmeslowly Posted - 27 June 2004 : 04:05:14 AM
i've never been big on flight sims although i thought i'd give Total Air War a try (this was about five years ago). at the same time i also bought this super-dooper joystick which was especially made for such games and had buttons and knobs all over the shop.

it all started to go wrong immediately after installation. obviously downloading the required patch was the solution although, after which, all the text and speech etc was then displayed in German.

i knew it was a complicated game but was prepared to spend the time to learn. the first task required me to taxi the aircraft to the runway. simple eh?

there was about three hundred keys to learn apart from the twenty-eight i had on my joystick anyway and the cockpit was just an array of more buttons and flashing lights.

hmm, i finally learnt to inform the control tower that i was ready and they duly granted me the permission to continue. although i was only moving at a very slow 2mph i could never ever seem to turn the bloody thing and ended up crashing in to the aircraft hanger which was about 200 yards directly ahead of me. i mean, i could never do it.

finaly, after about a week of constant trying, inspiration struck. i remembered that this particular joystick allowed me to 'twist' left and right as opposed to just moving it so. excellent! now i'm ready for battle...

i started the engine, informed ground control and then moved slowly forward. at the required moment i 'twisted' the joystick to the left and all that happened was a further view of the left side of the cockpit - complete with a further dash and new set of buttons and flashing lights. bastard.

i never did learn to take off or even turn the fuckin' thing. shortly afterwards i sold my house and moved to canada instead..
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Mazeppa Posted - 03 July 2004 : 12:36:23 PM
God bless thee, sky pilot. You and yours saved my ass in the jungle more tymes than I care to count. My be-ret is on the floor to thee. What you did, is naught lost, it is in many minds. The train-ing, all, I bow. Happy 4th.

mazeppa

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